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 Poem I wrote: No one listens

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DragonstarX
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DragonstarX

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Age : 26

Poem I wrote: No one listens Empty
PostSubject: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSat Aug 15, 2009 12:37 pm

Note: I wrote this poem a few months before meeting STaR. I dont feel this way anymore.

No one listens by Max Malik (DragonstarX)

When day is night
and night is day
Am I the one who wants to play?

In this world I am alone
People keep rambling on the phone

When I sing people are mute
Paying attention to only the cute

When the Sound of Silence enters the room
It only brings appending doom

What do I have to do to be seen?
Do I have to be angry and mean?

I want to be myself for just one day
Never once to every say Nay

Why wont people listen?
Why wont people notice?
Am I doing anything wrong?
When I talk of my coutus?

When can I ever finish the show
If people keep saying the word "No"?

All I want is someone to clap
Never once a emotional slap

When day is night
and night is day
Why wont people listen to what I have to say?

Read, comment, and please no flaming.


Last edited by DragonstarX on Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Abbx
Head Of STaR
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Abbx

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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSat Aug 15, 2009 12:53 pm

Wow, thats pretty good! I just suggest one change.


Instead of:

"People keep talking on the annoying phone"



You should say:

"People keep rambling on the phone"



Because on the annoying phone, sounds a little long. Nice work though.
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Support__Tails
STaRs Punching Bag
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Support__Tails

Posts : 1457
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Age : 24
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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 12:33 am

heres another poem by me

Corn.

that is my poem thank you. lol!

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Poem I wrote: No one listens 13zsr43
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TheSTaR_Hooligan
STaR Of Spam
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Age : 26
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Poem I wrote: No one listens Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 1:44 am

Support_Tails wrote:
heres another poem by me

Corn.

that is my poem thank you. lol!



poem..... Mad

Harsh.


thats my poem lol!
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KidSTaR-CEO
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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 2:11 am

good job max i would post my poem but 2 long o.o
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STaRxRedFlamer504
Flame Of STaR
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Location : In Sam's Closet Choking AbrahomX while Stabbing him deadly,New Orleans Louisiana

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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 2:37 am

imma post a poem about my whor3 named dwayne
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Magic_Stalker
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Age : 28
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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 5:50 am

Support504 wrote:
imma post a poem about my whor3 named dwayne

Then who teh fuk am I?
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TheSTaR_Hooligan
STaR Of Spam
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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 7:20 am

Magic_Stalker wrote:
Support504 wrote:
imma post a poem about my whor3 named dwayne

Then who teh fuk am I?

the back up hairy wh0re? lmao, jus j/k
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STaRxRedFlamer504
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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeSun Aug 16, 2009 9:32 am

stalker ur my beyatch shun
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Ketsunoana
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Age : 24
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PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitimeTue Sep 01, 2009 3:35 am

Whoa, that's one intense poem. I really like the lines. Individually, all the lines and sentences are strong. You should write more, or post more, cause this is great.
Great message. :O 5/5! :]
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Poem I wrote: No one listens Empty
PostSubject: Re: Poem I wrote: No one listens   Poem I wrote: No one listens Icon_minitime

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